“Can’t You Control Your Wife?” (FYI: I’m “The Wife.”)

November 18th, 2016 | Tags:

I’m an open person—in person and in my writing.

When I was blogging during my IVF cycle and high-risk pregnancy years ago, I shared personal information—the reason for my infertility [my mother unknowingly taking the synthetic estrogen diethylstilbestrol (DES) when she was pregnant with me], the effects of DES on my body and my likelihood of getting cancer, the intricacies of in vitro fertilization (IVF), the loss of one of my twin sons, the stress of weight gain, multiple hospitalizations and bed rest, and on and on.

My husband fell in love with me—and continues to love me—because of who (and how) I am, and he was proud of my website and blog, encouraging all of his work colleagues and friends to be readers.   But, as the months passed, he started getting some flak.  Some of the lesser developed of his male colleagues starting calling him, asking questions like, “Can’t you control your wife?”

After our son was born in April 2010, I rarely blogged.  For me, it was important to turn my focus from my pregnancy and writing to my youngest sons, then five and brand-new.

In August, my youngest started first grade, so I have more free time than I’ve had  since becoming a mother 11 years ago.  I’ve spent the past 2 ½ months remembering who I am, apart from being a mother, and watching too much election coverage in my attempt to reengage with the real world, and now I’m ready to write again.  So on Sunday, I warned my husband that I’m going to start blogging again.

Can he control me?

Absolutely not.

And, even if he could, he wouldn’t want to.  He believes in gender equality—and (sometimes) female superiority.  He’s not a Neanderthal, after all…

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