My Butt Is Too Big

During our bedtime ritual last night, I was lying next to my 3-year-old son Luke, when he announced, “You can’t go down the slide. Your butt is too big.”

We have a play structure in our yard, which includes a slide. We currently have an inflatable pool at the bottom of the slide, with a hose positioned at the slide’s top, letting water trickle down. My kids love this set-up, because they shoot down the slide much faster than is possible when they and the slide are dry.

With temperatures sometimes reaching close to 100 degrees here this summer, the slide and pool are part of our daily life. But I don’t participate. Not because I’m too big, but because it’s a kid slide and a kid pool.

I supervise to make sure they don’t drown. That’s what moms do.

So I was surprised at my son’s pronouncement that I couldn’t fit on the slide because of my too-big derriere.

I asked, “My butt is too big, huh?”

He sat up in bed, tapped my behind with his hand and said, “Your butt is too big. See? Your butt is too big. See?”

As if anyone in his or her right mind could clearly see this fact with a quick glance.

Part of me wants to don my swimsuit and slide down that damn slide, to prove that, while my butt may be big, it’s not too big.

Because when it come to my body, I’ve been critical for as long as I can remember, so it hits a nerve to hear a negative comment, even if it comes from a 3-year-old.

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