Parkinson’s and Psychosis

My father, who has suffered from dementia as part of Parkinson’s disease, is now experiencing full-on psychosis, according to the doctors at the hospital at which he is being treated. Apparently, this is normal for late-stage Parkinson’s patients.

He is agitated.

He is yelling nonsensical things, such as, “Test! Test! Test!”

He is refusing his meds and some meals, so the nurses’ attempts to hide his meds in his meals are useless.

He realizes he will never go home.

He alternately loves my mom and hates her because she called 911, so she’s the reason, in his jumbled mind, that he’s not at home and never will be again.

I am in another city, hearing the news by phone each day, feeling disconnected.

I am depressed.

My dad knows I love him, and I know he loves me, but our relationship is “unresolved,” if that makes sense. He was such a tough guy, such a tough dad, that I’ve always been somewhat afraid of him, of his judgment, even as an adult.

I never felt “good enough” for him, and now that negative part of our relationship will never be resolved. At least between us.

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