Clumsiness Galore…

I’ve never been a particularly poised person, from a physical perspective.  Attempting to take ballet, for example, would have been a joke.  But, I’ve never been a clumsy, bumbling, drop-everything-in-my-grasp kind of girl either.  Until my current pregnancy…

When, at age 30, I bought my first set of decent dishes, I bought 16 place settings from the Mikasa® outlet store, because its La Costa design, my favorite, had been discontinued, so I’d never be able to buy replacements.  In the past 11 years, I have never broken any of the pieces, until this Thanksgiving weekend, when, in my pregnancy-hormone-fueled reorganization of every kitchen drawer and cabinet, I broke a dinner plate.  Plus two glasses. 

Daily, I drop whatever is in my hands, from my 4-year-old son’s toys, to my makeup, to silverware.  When I was madly making bead jewelry for my pre-holiday shows, I dropped so many beads, so many times, that my son just kept his flashlight in our living room, so he was at-the-ready to search under the furniture to find what I’d lost.

Last night, I made spaghetti for dinner, which, because one of my stepsons has celiac disease, required making two batches of pasta—regular and wheat/gluten-free.  The brown-rice-, rice-bran-based pasta needed to be rinsed with water after cooking, which made it slippery, which, if I weren’t suffering from “pregnancy brain,” I’d have been aware of.  Regardless, after topping my stepson’s plate of pasta with Ragu® sauce to which I’d added ground turkey, I turned 180 degrees to bring it to him, and, due to my clumsiness, his meal went sliding off the plate—all over the kitchen floor, three of the four walls and my new area rug.

Pregnancy-related clumsiness is only addressed in one of my pregnancy books, What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg and Sandee Hathway, B.S.N. (Workman Publishing, 2002).  It says:

“Lately I’ve been dropping everything I pick up. Why am I suddenly so clumsy?

Like the extra inches on your belly, the extra thumbs on your hands are part and parcel of being pregnant.  As with so many pregnancy side effects, this temporary clumsiness is caused by the loosening of joints and the retention of water, both of which can make your grasp on objects less firm and sure.  Other factors may include a lack of concentration as a result of the scatterbrain syndrome or a lack of dexterity as a result of carpal tunnel syndrome.

Besides making a conscious effort to pick up things more carefully, there isn’t much you can do about pregnancy ‘dropsies’—so it might be a good idea to let someone else handle the crystal for the next few months.”

Thanks to What to Expect When You’re Expecting, I know why I’ve become so ridiculously clumsy, so, last night, I didn’t get upset.  I just dropped to the floor myself, and, on hands and knees, I scrubbed. 

But the rug is a goner, unless I can find a drycleaner who can get rid of the marinara…

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