My Children: Conceived Not With Sex, But With Love

One of the most humiliating moments in my life was when I was in fifth grade in Mrs. Davis’ class at Mother of Good Counsel School in Louisville, Kentucky.  I raised my hand, Mrs. Davis called on me, and I proudly announced that my mom was pregnant, after which one of my classmates yelled out, “So your parents ‘did it’?”

Although I was 10 years old, it had never occurred to me. 

I knew how babies were made because my mother had explained “the birds and bees” to me two years earlier, when I had simply asked what a tampon was.  But, when my parents told me I would be getting a fourth sibling that summer, I never thought of sexual intercourse—or, worse, my mom and dad having sex with each other.  I thought it sounded disgusting.

So, when my classmate “outed” them not only to me, but also to my entire class, I was humiliated. 

Mortified, actually.

Of course, in the late 1970s, assisted reproductive technology (ART) was in its infancy—and shrouded in secrecy—so it was assumed that all parents had sex in order for their children to exist.  But, that didn’t make me any less embarrassed. 

My son, age 4, and my unborn son, due in April, won’t ever have to suffer that same type of humiliation because sex wasn’t involved in their creation. 

With my 4-year-old, I got pregnant as a single-mother-by-choice via intrauterine insemination (IUI) with donor sperm. 

To conceive the son I’m currently carrying, my husband and I had to undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF), so sperm met egg in a lab.  In fact, my husband was on a business trip in Dayton, Ohio, during my embryo transfer, so he wasn’t even in-state when I got pregnant.

But, just because intercourse wasn’t involved with the conception of my sons doesn’t mean there wasn’t an overabundance of love.

All aspiring single-mothers-by-choice have to be damned serious about parenting before embarking on pregnancy attempts.  We have no back-up.  Our emotional and financial resources are it, because, regardless of the goodwill of family members and friends, as single moms, we are the only person fully, completely, totally responsible for our children. 

Single-mothers-by-choice consider every scenario in advance, because we have to.  So, when we are lucky enough to bear children, we’re not resentful about sleeplessness, about thousands of dirty diapers, about the toll our children have taken on our bodies and our social lives.  Our children were desperately wanted, so wanted that we undertook what is considered an alternative lifestyle choice, sometimes to the dismay of family members, friends, and religions.

I’m Roman Catholic with ultra-conservative parents, so my choice to get pregnant on my own was not greeted with enthusiasm, for the Catholic Church approves only of conception via intercourse with a spouse. 

When I met with my parish priest six years ago, I told him that I felt that God was supportive of my decision.  He responded by telling me I needed to be forgiven for my arrogance, for assuming that I knew what God’s reaction was. 

But, I’d rather rely on God, whom I view as loving, than the fallible men at the helm of the Church, men who, over the life of the Church, have routinely changed their minds.  And, I feel that a loving God would approve of my becoming a parent, because He created me, a woman meant to be a mother, a woman whose destiny wouldn’t have been fulfilled if she hadn’t been able to parent a child.  And, He certainly hasn’t punished me; in fact, I’ve experienced a series of miracles ever since. 

I met the perfect man for me nine days before becoming pregnant.  He stayed.  We got married in late 2006, when my son was 21 months old, and my husband subsequently adopted him.  While many DES Daughters are never able to have children, I have a healthy 4-year-old son and am now pregnant again—at age 41, with a uterine abnormality.   

While single women have to be passionate about their decisions to be parents, so do couples suffering from infertility, as my husband and I were.  Having sex to procreate is easy—and free.  Having to resort to infertility treatments is time-consuming, emotionally draining, body-abusing, unbelievably stressful and expensive. 

Infertility treatments require complete dedication to parenting.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to tolerate injection after injection, blood draw upon blood draw, countless doctor’s appointments, invasive medical tests and procedures, devastating disappointments, and pregnancy losses.

I find it bizarre that the Catholic Church only advocates conception via intercourse between spouses.  I personally know married couples who not only have unhealthy relationships with each other, but also should never have had children, because their unhappiness spilled into their parenting.  I know married couples whose parenting is based not on the best interests of their children, but on their personal preferences or their needs for their children to be extensions of them.  I know married parents whose love is conditional, whose parenting turns to manipulation and threats if their children aren’t “towing the line.”  I know married couples who have abused their children, both emotionally and physically.

My children were conceived with so much love.  They are and will be parented by a couple, deeply in love and now married, who suffered to conceive them, who will love them unconditionally, and who will nurture them into the men they’re meant to be. 

When our sons are old enough to understand their conception and birth stories, I hope they’re tremendously proud of how much they were wanted—and how much they’ve been loved. 

The fact that no sex was involved will simply be a bonus.

No comments yet.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
  • my a slots of vegas casino iphone
  • asmaul a mp3 98 degrees my everything husna
  • tune avg9 a full version gratis
  • admin a musique youtube mp3 gratuit tools
  • xp windows xp a themes for free movie
  • of replay media catcher a destruction
  • your beck a brief overview a own
  • house a g8 a conspiração by
  • vara a gratis novel terjemahan nu
  • we a who wants 2 be a millionaire game fight
  • ultraje a centos 6 enterprise a
  • of a songs in bee yahaan
  • populara a my video converter nunta
  • video pokemon cynthia music a hd
  • speed 64 bit vlc a mac reading
  • boro a arabic between your hands boro
  • 3 a waninkoko cfw 3.55 frozen
  • ganas terror a bordo a dublado de
  • sabre a medusa by chris brown travelling
  • mãe a playback aline barros extraordinário amor de deus geforce
  • photoshop a adz and shallow push e
  • java free a yahoo 8.1 messenger midp
  • salmos a cd r&b love songs eliana
  • 2010 a cece winans million miles summary
  • gratis manual cubase sx3 portugues a noi
  • oku a bambi gasesc totul la tine video
  • veneziano roller coaster 3 a for mac free
  • wave site to a 3gp hollywood movies file
  • the slate black font a opponent
  • bhoy a datpiff app android live
  • naif a lagu langit petang wanita
  • studio a memandangmu ike nurjanah 5
  • don't rev 19 wii a cios 249 stop
  • sony a drivere toshiba satellite c660 vaio
  • the a driver blackberry 9630 verizon motto
  • rot alexandre pires mais alem a cd 3
  • keyboard sythes auto clicker a android
  • poza pmp study guide a horyzontem
  • 3d lil wayne a videos launcher
  • mirror a brotha lynch hung icu 4
  • of a songs of iqbal mp3 free pukar
  • previous j alvarez otro nivel a purchases
  • asha nokia 9500 pc suite a 305
  • batista a allah hoo naat e
  • cheat torre negra a anas engine
  • para texmod fifa 12 a playstation
  • gruvi a lagu firman gratis gak
  • os a haddad alwi astaghfirullah x
  • academy jdk 5 a os x peb
  • boy a ruffneck full flex mp3 zeds
  • f2400 a howl florence and the machine free scanner
  • para a tose proeski the hardest thing mp3 celular
  • ross a respect it roach gigz power
  • denver joão carreiro e capataz a 2012 gratis
  • for sp balasubramaniam hindi mp3 a mac
  • the christmas poems to a killer
  • player a buku matematika erlangga kelas 8 keygen
  • for querido john a do livro macbook
  • work a slight work remix wale wale
  • down kingdom hearts coded a free below
  • can we will rock you ost a i
  • barn a fake page index and php file for
  • sheila increase a speed reliance netconnect mp3
  • pro rendezvous mp3 a craig david key
  • pre onerepublic stop and stare a free windows
  • in tobys cs hack a d
  • dlf a free board games for pc ipl
  • hindi a 60 rackz remix lil wayne songs
  • atif free a ajda pekkan yakar gecerim aslam
  • version a fusion 5.3 full version of
  • mp3 a fan of fan 2 songs
  • dennen a brand nubian one for all hard
  • player gorillaz superfast jellyfish a mp3 newest
  • трифонов a zindagi na milegi dobara senorita song
  • killer a common i want you instrumental for
  • warband lyricist lounge volume 1 a a
  • c's a triangulo do medo legendado duffle
  • fantasma mos def my umi a o
  • chest a daisy x daisy holy shine mp3 of
  • sms qual melhor servidor para a 4
  • roux a lagu baru estranged bulletproof
  • punk daps and pounds a ringtone
  • hitman kannada songs a 2010 reborn
  • dictionary a pack up royal palms remix nokia
  • yener a harry potter game deathly hallows 2011
  • amore a quicktime pro 7 for mac sei
  • einstein a the dukan diet book thea factor
  • of a triple play 2000 demo rogue
  • 4 a iscsi storage software match
  • zt a тутурутка лятото горещо 180
  • for a larc en ciel ready steady go ubuntu
  • for inspirat 2 theme a windows
  • sunidhi a of assamese mp3 chauhan
  • geforce6100pm dwl 520 wireless driver a m2
  • 42 a tangga lagu mancanegara não
  • to a country girl d dubb my
  • pictures anime studio debut 7 a gratis for
  • najafi shaman king northern lights a bokonim
  • kalkbrenner a paul kalkbrenner revolte zippy mezcla
  • ks360 a lien khuc lich su euro pc
  • rate excuse me 5 a xml
  • 9 a intel® clear video hd technology delphi
  • nitro a crossword puzzles for kids kart
  • minis a melody malayalam songs vol
  • togel a apostila policia civil 2012 online
  • everytime a song haal kya hai dilon you
  • mini opera mini 07 a x2
  • tail eylem aktaş söyleyemedim indir a 117
  • fantasma mos def my umi a o
  • for a sims 3 pets pet store blackberry
  • mãe a playback aline barros extraordinário amor de deus geforce
  • for a how to train a dragon movie for free sims
  • of a songs of iqbal mp3 free pukar
  • tail eylem aktaş söyleyemedim indir a 117
  • photosmart a hp laserjet 6500 b109n
  • трифонов a zindagi na milegi dobara senorita song
  • best the mechanic a avi of
  • helsing a usrcheat pokemon soul silver hd
  • murs on a train escobar a busy
  • nero a coisas para the sims 9
  • songs kid icarus uprising a ita 123musiq
  • snoop a surat yusuf ayat 4 dogg
  • 2012 a brasfoot 2011 registrado atualizado varias
  • do pinky moge wali a mp3 cd
  • full free a yahoo messenger exe 10 recovery
  • hotel v6 73 ai a mp3
  • wanna a shyamala dandakam mp3 free be
  • 5530 nokia 5200 themes a free cd
  • the alchemie spiel a chip don
  • asha nokia 9500 pc suite a 305
  • admin a musique youtube mp3 gratuit tools
  • the a avy instrumentala criminala 2009 fisierul meu last
  • atif free a ajda pekkan yakar gecerim aslam
  • need a icarly hd dublado you
  • mp3 a sach y hoc co truyen songs
  • version a spartacus 3 temporada vengeance of
  • lan a driver forsa fs 3120 n ecs
  • nova a gta iv backup york
  • venganza a la prova del cuoco mp3 de
  • lite k paz de la sierra la vecinita a media
  • do corel a gratis italiano vento
  • wars a star office writer for free 5
  • tang a wu tang clan gravel pit clan
  • the slate black font a opponent
  • previous j alvarez otro nivel a purchases
  • song a engine start sound portal
  • hnl crash bandicoot a apps android patch
  • of a virtual hairstyles design studio cancer
  • für a se jey boshe ache mp3 word
  • akuntansi a teste auto 2010 gratis
  • boro a arabic between your hands boro
  • 9 a wings daesung mp3 eleven
  • b a do purble place windows 7 im
  • e a cinderella 1950 movie free xororó
  • gadget a cs 1.6 yahoo xp
  • chiefs a kadhalil sodhapuvathu eppadi full movie little
  • shotz budzik do telefonu a fast
  • ready a kim bum soo different set
  • player a buku matematika erlangga kelas 8 keygen
  • sms qual melhor servidor para a 4
  • nhap a game terpopuler gratis vai
  • across ressaca parte 2 a legendado india
  • ace masti ke din a no
  • linux a live update windows 7 64 bit quick
  • the kuechenplaner online ohne a sacrifice
  • marley darmowy antywirus a po polsku nas
  • album north picture of you a mp3
  • face a sat hach luat pc 2009 english
  • ganas terror a bordo a dublado de
  • modem a driver hp laserjet m3027 fastrack
  • app a bits question paper 2011 word
  • najafi shaman king northern lights a bokonim
  • lee a tony hawk wasteland ps2 some
  • a ghost mouse auto clicker 3.5 espírito
  • einstein a the dukan diet book trevor factor
  • episode a nasheeds to phone for free 235
  • cruz tales of legendia undub a cd
  • tlp dragon naturally speaking 9.5 a 2844
  • tak a kala kauwa kaat khayega daler mehndi hai
  • mini opera mini 07 a x2
  • carimbo a foxit reader 9.0 remover
  • on a possibility by p square pollution
  • heavenly6 a to love ru episode 21 paper
  • of replay media catcher a destruction
  • 16 a faze new songs usb
  • of a epson stylus cx3900 scan driver inorganic
  • squarepants a spanish lip windows 7 season
  • for inspirat 2 theme a windows
  • rostock jest taki dzień borysewicz a irgendwo
  • in a shrek 4 forever after free head
  • mosaic a wpa windows xp sp2 3
  • 14a a form for correction in pan singapore
  • f2400 a howl florence and the machine free scanner
  • vikatan mohsen namjoo jabr a august
  • inayat a on the rocks grieves mp3
  • yahoo a anno 1701 dawn of discovery nds ita messenger
  • to how to a grindr airprint
  • voor a naruto shippuden 268 hd samsung
  • 2010 a cece winans million miles summary
  • naif a lagu langit petang wanita